11th December 2008
lately,
at 35weeks, i thought a lot about mama.
about all that she has done raising me and making the best out of what i can become.
its the hormones i know,
but every time that it gets harder and harder to even sleep, i think of what it was like when mama was carrying me..
syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu...
its a term most known but rarely understood
somehow its now that i finally get it.
being pregnant is all about sharing
and giving life to a family we are building,
him as the husband will try to ease
all that he can afford to support the process
but its the mother that sacrifices the most..
she smiles deeper when happy things happens to me,
because she carried me and she knows by heart
that i am really happy
she cries louder when my heart is broken,
because she carried me and knows by heart
that it really hurts
and she weeps even further when i am sick,
because she carried me and knows by heart how pathetic i must feel,
being vulnerable with such disease
regrets i also have now,
of all those times i had
arguments and disagreements throughout finding wht's life...
way back when i couldn't understand
why she didn't understand me
all those times she said no to what i want
and all those curses that made her cry
regrets i already had
when i was away
i was upNorth to study and discovered it then
here i was fighting with mama
when there were those who didn't know their mums
here i was disagreeing with mama
when there were those who never met their mothers
im thankful for these regrets
that feel now,
since i still have mama to apologize
my doa's and hugs are much tighter everytime
and hope her health will be forever fine...
kaseh ibu...yes mama now i get it
